BooksChatter: ✉ Take Me to the Willow

Today author Shelly Brimley takes over our blog to tell us about The Things She Has Learned Since Becoming a Parent.

Shelly is the author of Take Me to the Willow (10 December 2015, Bales Cove Publishing, 299 pages), a Young Adult Historical Fiction Novel.

"I fell in love with each character in a way where their triumphs brought a true smile to my face and their tribulations made me weep. Take me to the Willows is an emotionally exquisite read. I dearly hope the author continues the story and blesses us all with a sequel..." - Amazon Customer ( verified purchase)

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The Things I Have Learned Since Becoming a Parent

Before having children, I had all of these grand ideas about what kind of parent I would be. I pictured myself being firm but laid back, fun, patient, kind… you get the gist. Then I had children. I can’t say for sure, but I’m fairly certain that’s not how my kids would describe me. I spend so much time trying to make sure that my kids' needs are being met along with meeting the demands of life in general, that there seems to be very little time to be fun!
Let me be clear and say that I adore my kids! Truly adore them! I just sit back and watch them sometimes in awe of who they are and how their little brains work. One thing I’ve noticed, however, is that being a parent pushes every single button you have, including the ones you didn’t know existed. Like my “yelling” button, for example. I didn’t know I had that. And while I don’t do it very often, there I am yelling when I walk into the bathroom and see half a tube of toothpaste emptied into the sink, or a whole roll of toilet paper in the toilet… along with the other little treats that were left there, which makes getting the toilet paper out of the toilet that much grosser.
I don’t like yelling. I hate the way I feel during and after, but it’s like my body’s way of protesting the injustice of having to do certain things that I am just not crazy about dealing with. To be honest, I’m not much of a yeller, but my point is that the button exists and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have known about it had I not had kids. It makes me wonder what other buttons are under the surface.

Having said all of that, nothing in life has brought me the kind of overwhelming satisfaction and joy that motherhood has. I can go from feeling frustrated and irritable one minute to laughing out loud at something funny one of them says. Indulge me in sharing an example. The other day my five year old wasn’t feeling well. The conversation went like this;

     Avery: I don't feel very good today, Mom. I was coughing a lot in the night and my nose is really runny.
     Me: I know. I heard you.
     Avery: I think I better stay home from school today and rest.
     Me: You do, huh?
     Avery: Yeah mom… Because let's say I go to shake someone's hand and then share all my sick germs with them. That's not very nice. Then two kids will be out of school instead of just one.
     Me: Do you do a lot of handshaking in Kindergarten?
     Avery: Well...no. I think this would be my first time.

     I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. Kids are absolutely hilarious. I used to journal, and now I just mostly write down these funny conversations with my kids. I love the way they think. I’ve also never experienced at any other time in my life the emotion that comes when I’m rocking quietly with one of my children. To say that it’s love is insufficient, or at least too general a description. It is a sacred place which, for that moment, gives me absolute clarity about who I am and the perspective about why I am doing what I’m doing.
     So maybe I’m not the exact kind of mom I once envisioned, but my kids aren’t who I envisioned them to be either. So I’ll take it one button pushing experience at a time and revel in the joyful insanity that is parenthood.